Holy Shoes

Based on a true story:
A man was going to bed one evening during the rainy season. His shoes were 'holier than thou', and his cupboards were as empty as Mother Hubbard's. With only .77 cents in his pockets and $10.oo in the bank he had to figure out a way of obtaining new shoes and food with only $10.77. These thoughts of bungled and botched budgetry permeated his mind until a beam of white light told him to use the radio. He realized the radio station was having a contest in conjunction with the local newspaper and giving away $500.oo CASH daily if you phoned in and told them what page of the paper had the secret puzzle piece. With this resolved he drifted into sleep. Awakening the next day in time to get a morning paper, this man ran up the street to invest his last savings on a prayer and in the process of doing so the newspaper box stole his .75 cents refusing to give him a paper and leaving him with only his two cents worth, which he almost used to verbally assault the thieving box. Returning to his abode he heard the voice on the radio call out, "CALL IN NOW". With the frustration levels in danger of exploding at being robbed and not getting the $500.oo he wanted, he laid back down and returned to his breathing. In doing so, a few moments afterwards he heard the announcers of the radio calling out for a 'joke of the day'...They would be having a competition, they said. Again he heard the light, telling him to, "CALL IN NOW". So he got up and phoned the radio station and actually managed to get through on the first try. He told them he had the 'joke of the day' for them, to which they replied, it was actually a competition and he had to qualify. "No, no" he said, "I have the 'joke of the day' for you." "Okay, tell us your joke funny man." the D.J. replied. After doing so, they all agreed he did indeed have the 'joke of the day'. And after he told that 'joke of the day', they told him to stay on the line so he could pick up his prize. "A prize", he exclaimed, "I didn't know I got a prize. What did I win?" The announcers voice seemed to echo forth from the ear inserts he had placed inside a small cup to act as a stereo, " A brand new, $120.oo pair of shoes from Footlocker." it said.
"New Shoes", he screamed out in joy. "That's all I needed in the first place." And with that done, he now had $10.00 for food, having received full value for his two cents worth.